


Reality Within a Dream

by Nightlock



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 15:23:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4924843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightlock/pseuds/Nightlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was almost time for the trip and Josh was ready. There is no need to hesitate but he seems to need a little push in the right direction. (Takes place before the game, Rated for mild language)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reality Within a Dream

“Welcome back, Joshua. I see you decided to do what you wanted to do over what you _need_ to do. You want to play a game you have no business playing, am I right?” Dr. Hill’s face transformed into an array of strange expressions with very subtle movements as he spoke. His eyes glistened in the warm light of his office and his smile tugged at his lips and cradled his cheeks. He licked his teeth and rocked his head before speaking again; his voice a calm, even tone.

“I told you this is dangerous. I told you that you don’t have that right. I told you this was wrong. Playing with people’s lives is a dangerous thing, Joshua. A dangerous thing I don’t think you can handle.” It was a bitter truth that stained the air like wine on white. It suddenly made the room feel smaller, closed in and air tight. Josh’s vision began to lose focus. He held his head as the room began to spin. What Dr. Hill was saying was a lie, it had to be. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, no, he was helping everyone. The twisting and meddling of colors came to a halt and Josh was once again met with Dr. Hill’s deceptively warm expression. He couldn’t trust anything this man said anymore. He wasn’t the enemy but he wasn’t a friend. The moment he told Josh to stop what he planned he became nothing more than an obstinate obstacle. He didn’t understand the importance of this trip. The anniversary was going to make everything better even if it would cost a little. Everything had a price and everyone needed a little consoling here and there. Unconventional therapy one could call it. 

“But…but they have to know. They have to know what they did. I have to make them all see. Only I can do it. I know that’s what they would want.” Josh knew because they told him so. His sisters wanted everyone to be better and atone. An eye for an eye. What’s a prank between friends, right? No one would get hurt. He wasn’t a puppet master playing God he was going to be that beacon of light his friends needed to see who they _truly_ are. Who they’ve always been. Who they are too damn afraid to see. He was going give them what they always needed. A new reality, _his_ reality. 

“Only you, Josh. Show them all.” Hannah encouraged. Josh would’ve nodded but he hesitated as Dr. Hill smiled again before leaning in towards Josh, his hands supporting him from his desk. 

“People will get hurt if you do whatever it is you plan to do. This won’t help anyone and it’ll only hurt you.” Could anything else possibly be any more painful than guilt? A guilt so heavy it bends and cracks the very frame of the shoulders? The body? Whatever foundation Josh had he lost it the very moment of realization that dreadful morning last year. The news no one ever wants to hear. There wasn’t time to be reserved or worry about getting hurt. A little pain is a price to pay to get what’s needed in return. 

“You have to do this, Josh. Don’t you love us?” White noise disguised itself as Beth as she asked and inquired about how much Josh truly loved her, loved them. He didn’t love them if he wasn’t strong enough to do this, did he? Love wasn’t measured by shallow words or broken promises but instead by action. People could say anything they wanted, they do it every day, but doing something is what separated those who _can_ and those who _can’t_. Josh could do this because he loved them so much. He missed them. He needed them and they needed him to do this. They encouraged it and those pleas hadn’t gone unanswered. 

“No one’s going to get hurt.” Josh said with a slight shake of his head and a breath of a chuckle at the end. He was so confident about it. Why wouldn’t he be? They never lied to him. His sisters loved him so much. Why would they lie to him? Hurt him? They didn’t want him to get hurt or end up like them. No, he had some business to take care of and a debt to settle first. They would have the last laugh. Who didn’t laugh after a well thought prank? It would be something to laugh off when it was all over and done with. That’s how it was last year, right? It was so funny. He could hear his sisters laughing. Yeah, the shit was hilarious. 

“If you don’t do this you can’t love us.” Hannah had exclaimed, voice distorted and cold. She giggled and Josh’s mouth slightly curved into a smirk from the sound. Yeah, they’ll love it. 

“No, I can do it.” Josh reassured and Dr. Hill just smiled. The corned of his eyes crinkled like paper and he joined his hands together on his desk. 

“I see we have company.” He simply stated without a need to confirm. They were always there. They were so loud that Josh was just a speaker for their voices now. A boom box on his shoulders that announced the deepest part of his mind to an audience unknown. The most intimate parts of himself felt like they were nothing more than an auditory display of rubbish now. Other people were beginning to hear them. They were truly alive again, weren’t they? 

“Let’s not beat around the bush. Have you been taking your medication, Joshua?” Dr. Hill inclined his head and his lip pouted as he anticipated the answer he already knew. He knew everything now, didn’t he? He could hear everything. There were no secrets here. It was impossible. 

“Y-Yeah, I have.” It was a bold face lie. A lie Dr. Hill hadn’t been too happy to hear. He leaned back into his chair and stared at him with disapproval. Josh’s medicine hadn’t been a priority to him at all. Just another pen pad way to put money in a doctor’s greedy pocket. They said as much and told him he couldn’t love them on his medication. It had been weeks. The last time Josh took anything of the sort was when he promised her he would. He couldn’t lie to Sam. She was the only one he could confide in. The only one who was able to understand him and the only person that he felt he could go to. How could he defile such a bond with a lie? It made it hard to avoid missing his meds but soon or later she stopped asking and it got a lot easier to turn away. Everything was easier when you could turn your head away, wasn’t it? The pill bottle had become a burden, an enemy. When it spoke it only told him lies and betrayed him. His medication never made him better. It never told him he was okay and that he could do anything. Only Hannah and Beth did. Medication could never do that. Medication would only stunt the growth of what was about to begin. His plan needed to be nurtured and a bottle of psyche meds weren’t going to interfere with that. It felt like an eternity of silence before Dr.Hill suddenly slammed his hands down on his desk, anger flaring and burning in his eyes. 

“You want to go around fucking up everyone’s lives?! Is it worth it?! You’ll only regret it in the end!” he seared, spit flying from his mouth. He looked as dangerous and dark inside as Josh felt when he thought about last year but there wasn’t any fear. Josh knew himself and he wasn’t going to hide from this shadows anymore. Not like how the others did festering in their own insecurities and fears like a pig in its own filth. Josh stared silently as the doctor composed himself. He stood from his desk and with his hands bowed behind his back he stared out into the warmth of the setting sun. 

“Don’t get dragged down too far, Joshua. You might not like what you’ll see. Once you go down the hole there’s no way to turn back.” His voice was rattled and unnerved a he stared out into what lied beyond that window. A warning that fell on deaf ears because Josh was sure it would work. His plan would come into play and his friends would be better for it. He did all the ground work. His change of his major to learn what he needed and financial investments and supplies and guts would not go to waste. Everyone would be enlightened to themselves, including Josh. His sisters will be happy again. They would finally be able to hear and accept everyone’s apology. Everyone was guilty. There wasn’t time to dispute that. Guilt traveled and spread like a disease and it infected everyone down to the bone. 

“We’ll be so happy again, Josh. Everything will be better.” Beth coaxed. 

“You have to do this. You have to help us, Josh. Only you can. We know you can love us.” Hannah added. Josh nodded hesitantly. His heart was set but is mind was wondering. His vision began to blur again and suddenly he snapped him from his trance. The warmth of a light filled room had disappeared in a flash and there was only the foreboding darkness left. Josh was alone again and it was quiet. Only the sound of his own thoughts invaded his ears and it was a loud, ensemble of noise. Voices, memories, personalities, sounds all began to parade Josh’s mind, his ears, all at once and it was unbearable. Everyone was speaking to him at once he just needed them all to be quiet so he could think. There wasn’t room in his head for Josh anymore, just these thoughts that crowded his mind and ate through his ears. He covered his ears with his hands. He was about to scream when there was a loud buzzing sound. It awakened him from his episode and the only disturbance left was the rhythmic sound of that noise. 

Josh was taken aback to see he was in the basement at the family lodge again. The warmth of the Dr. Hill’s office had gone and all that was left was darkness, the cold and the constant buzzing sound of his phone going off. It was sitting at the corner of the desk lit up like a Christmas tree at night. Josh had scrolled through the messages on the lock screen by instinct to see they were all messages by Dr. Hill. He hadn’t bothered to read them. They all encouraged Josh to do what he couldn’t do. Not yet. 

“…You can’t tell me what to do.” He thought out loud as he turned off his phone. He wasn’t going to let this guy tell him what he needed or what he should do. He already knew what he needed to do and he was going to do it. It was all for them. It’ll all be fine. Everything would be fine. Josh didn’t need to feel this anxiousness, this fear. He couldn’t afford to. Not with so much riding on this plan. The prank of the fucking century was resting in his hands and he wasn’t about to let it slip through his fingers out of some unwritten obligation to take his meds. He hadn’t been able to think so clearly in a long time. Everything made more sense, he was free. Everyone had a part to play and Josh would be there, center stage, to be sure it all worked out as it needed. Every detail mattered. Every possibility counted. He’s committed to going all out to make his world a reality. It was the only world where they existed. Where they were okay. Where they needed him. 

“I’ve got everything.” It was fact. It was surprising how much he could do within a little less than a year’s time. It would be a trip no one would forget. 

“Everything.” His sisters spoke in unison. 

“This plan…it’ll work.” Josh voice wavered. He didn’t really know. Once it started it couldn’t stop. He couldn’t afford mistakes. No retakes. No do overs. Would this really work? Maybe Dr. Hill- 

“It’ll work, Josh. Then we can be family again. Then we can forgive you and you can love us again.” Hannah’s disembodied voice echoed at the back of his mind. 

“Family.” Beth’s voice had added and began to hum. Hannah in accompaniment it was a sweet massacre of noise. Grainy, dry, decaying and dead. It was horrifyingly comforting. 

A wall of screens blared in sync like a symphony. Each screen was monitoring a different part of the lodge and every camera placed in the perfect, well-hidden parts of the home to capture it all. This was the moment everyone had been waiting for and they didn’t even know it yet. Who wasn’t going to piss their pants to see this? Everything was beginning to fit into place. He stared listlessly into the haunting glow the surveillance monitors basking in the silence of the room. Josh appreciated silence these days. It was getting harder to have any. The spaces between the noises were diminishing gradually but it was okay. He was okay. He was okay, right? 

Josh hadn’t realized his gaze fell from the wall of screens down to the desk surface before them. It was riddled with papers filled with notes, scripts, thoughts, letters and dreams. Used tapes with labels and a tape recorder rested on top of some of the documents and some of the paper prompts were close by. A little of everything was a mess over the top of the desk. In the dark blind spot from the monitor’s radiance sat Josh’s meds. They sat in the shadows like a beast hiding from the light. With a hesitant, shaky hand he reached for the pill bottle only for his advances to be stopped by long, sickly pale gray, hard, clawed hand. Josh swallowed by instinct but he didn’t feel fear. No, he felt so detached. So unreal. Was this even real? Maybe last year was just a bad dream. Maybe his sisters were pulling a prank of their own. That’s right, they were hiding. He had to see this through before he could see them. Then maybe after they’ll pop out and say “surprise!” and laugh it off like it was all some grotesque joke. That’s how it worked, right? Everything was a fucking joke. The best humor of all was the most damaging. That was the logic, right? Another sickly, hard claw rested on his arm above the wrist. 

“You can’t do this without us, Josh. You need us.” Hannah reminded him as Beth hummed Frère Jacques as her grip tightened Josh’s hand. Laughter echoed along with the melody. Everything was alright. 

Despite the crude, ugly hands that encased Josh’s hand and arm when he turned his head on either side of him the beastly arms were attached to Beth and Hannah looking as they had that day, alive and well, and they were grinning. They were always there now. More so than when they were alive. He needed to do this, he had to do this. 

“Okay, I trust you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I just love Josh's character and wanted to write something canon before traveling towards happier stuff I guess? I don't know but I love psychological stuff and Josh is my favorite character so I tried to get some sort of drabble. Although Josh 'breaks' during the game I hardly think that was the only time he's had episodes or hallucinations. During the scene when he's hallucinating he mentioned he doesn't take orders from them anymore. I really wanted to play with that. What were they like in his mind before everything spiraled out of control? Whatever it was like Josh was listening to the voices so I wanted to play on that with the canon of the game. Josh's perspective, to me, was the most interesting part of the game and wish there was more xD
> 
> I'm half tempted to right a better ending for this poor guy...geez x'D 
> 
> As always I'm sorry in advanced for any errors...and I hope I portrayed the character(s) correctly. With that said I also hope you all enjoy this little drabble-like fic!


End file.
